Thursday, November 15, 2018

November 2018 - Week before Black Friday Reviews

Dear reader,

Have you ever wondered what does love means?

Have you ever wondered what Pokemon trainers, UVM students, and artists have in common?

I am not a biologist but I can let you in on a little secret - they all need break to relieve themselves before a public breakdown and a safe place to hit their strawberry gingerbread flavored Juul.

 (If you want to don't want to hear about ReMax - here's your chance)

These are 3 places to use the restroom for free and that all have free WiFi - if you guilt trip people into giving you the code.

University of Vermont - Dudley H. Davis Center - 590 Main St

Rating: 9.9/10

This is honestly a great place to ReMax, I mean relax (see hours below) even if you aren't a university student.

I don't know why this service isn't used more, why hang out on Church Street when it is cold AF? (Or at the Fletcher Free Library - where granola ass patrons complain on you for warming up and let the library staff know and have them call the cops, because rounding up for change in real life isn't the same - when you aren't asked ). When you can warm up and ask students at the Davis Center for money.

Just call it a social experiment if you are ever told to stop.  You are always a PhD candidate if you become comfortable with lying to yourself, plus. BMI and GPA are only six letters from an alphabet, so you are technically accepted into University of Vermont (UVM).

This beautiful building does have multiple restrooms, couches, couches, couches - which one do I pick, a cafe, a bookstore, and free WiFi  (you don't need to be a student) and if you feel bad unlike me, just go to Goodwill and get a UVM t-shirt or dress up as a cop, just so people know you belong.

Monday:7:00 a.m. - 12:00 a.m.
Tuesday :7:00 a.m. - 12:00 a.m.
Wednesday: 7:00 a.m. - 12:00 a.m.
Thursday: 7:00 a.m. - 12:00 a.m.
Friday : 7:00 a.m. - 12:00 a.m. 
Saturday:  8:00 a.m. - 12:00 a.m (Bonus: 10am-2pm - Burlington Farmers Market inside: Shout out to Flatlander Farm - we gon eat this year)
Sunday: 10:00 a.m. - 12:00 a.m.

 Speeder and Earls - 421 Pine Street

Rating:  9/10

Wifi Code: squirrels7773492

If you don't know what day it is two days after Thanksgiving - it is now called Small Business Saturday (Thanks for trade marking that American Express - because you'll never be Mastercard or VISA - you look desperate when you try to hard) put that down on your birth certificate and smoke it! Please support this local coffee shop. I don't want want help, I mean Yelp, but this is a great place to get your shit together when you first move to Burlington.

Speeder and Earl's has excellent coffee (I personally go there for the free milk) for artists, students, and you reader. Back to the topic at hand, the restroom is accessible but right next to where you order. This one you'll feel a little more guilty, if you aren't buying anything. If you feel really bad, like me, just bring your own thermos or say you lost it and tell everyone the only liquid you ever put in personal cups are their coffee- just so it is awkward for everyone.

E = mc^2


Pallet Town - マサラタウン (Masara Taun)

 Rating:  7/10

Have you ever wondered what it is like to live in a world of Pokemon? Well, you are in luck. If you think about it, we are all living in Pokémon - from exploring with your dog, falling in love with special berries, or fishing with friends - got to catch em all. Thanks mom. WHAAT??

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