Friday, October 12, 2018

I need WiFi In Burlington

 Hive Mic  IV 2018 - Burlington, VT - ReMax Real Estate
- I would like to thank Tara Goreau  -
And past me for not buying this .com domain - NOT

Hello kind reader(s),

I know what you are thinking:

Why am I here?

Did the person who told you to go to this site actually expect you do go to blog?

Is this some some type of ploy to watch his standup videos?

Why are these places in Burlington, not even the best free places to use the restroom?

Where are the honey buckets (portable toilets)?

And most importantly, where is the entry about free places to use the restroom and use the WiFi at the same time?

Well, I know someone is wasting their time to being here - but creativity is the residue of time wasted and I think Einstein said that, but who even looks up stuff any more - so you reader (s) are on a journey through space and time and place to get free WiFi and washrooms to use.

Washroom: they say that in Canada - when they ask if you need to relieve yourself as they questionably search through your car and baggage. Remember you should always know the contact information of the local law office (802-318-8076) and you can't say any of that you can't search my car shit at the border. Keep it on a need to know Brad Pitt/ Angelina Jolie rapport. Even if you are doing everything right in life, anyone can sprinkle a little crack in your car.

Vermont Rest Areas 

 Rating: 10/10

Have you ever needed to use the restroom and been in a place where you don't have unlimited data while driving?

Have you ever had the urge to listen to that free Post Malone song or watch the new Lady Gaga/Bradley Cooper trailer while switching lanes?

Well, you are in luck! Vermont's roads are a great place to pull over and use the restroom, get free coffee (suggested donations), and use free wifi:

24 hour access. Even if it says you can't sleep over night, just keep moving your car every hour. 
"Tired driving can be as dangerous as drunk driving. Use a Vermont Rest Area and enjoy a safe trip" - Spokesperson,

Remember reader: Drive too high - get a DUI.  Drive too tired - get a flat tire. Drive a Toyota - sound like Yoda.  Tell a cop a drunk rhyme - do some time.

Lowes (any city in Vermont) 
Rating: 8/10

You might be thinking what if I ever need buy a sander at a home improvement store, but don't have WiFi to look up reviews at the store's website and compare it to Amazon or Home Depot (shout out)- where people like me have the privilege to have WiFi to write dead serious and accurate reviews.

Well, you are in luck. Sorry mom and pop shops (cough cough - Ace Hardware - get your shit together) - Lowes has you covered - free Wifi, water, restrooms, and you can stare at those $5,000 Samsung refrigerators and wonder if she is ever coming back?

Count me in!

The majority of Lowes are open from 6am-10pm. So, if you need free WiFi spend one hour in each isle and say you are a contractor who is making plans to build and sand a big ass deck and can't remember if your deck deck is made of cedar or pine.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I need to recall in Albuquerque

Dear Reader,  After a long period of existential crisis of if this should have a  .com or be an economical, it was serendi...