Wednesday, July 11, 2018

The 24/7 Entry

 Hello. Give it up for yourselves to support local non-profit people who ask you reader to go to his website. Nothing like a little self promotion to go with those salty fries.

Just like legendary Yelpers, I feel we all have a topic we are engrossed; i.e. the old stereotype that Asians love Olive Garden; and can't use semicolons. ; ; ;

Well, this blogger is passionate about finding restrooms that are open 24/7 - whether it be 4:20pm or 4:20am - we all need to pee during the 86,400 seconds per day.

So, don't stress it. (Paraphrasing a self-help book). Think of your day as a big ol pot of money - you have $86,400 and someone took and fucked up your $1,800 - you would still have $84,600 left.

Why stress over $1,800 ( the 30 minutes of bad stuff that might have happened today) - YOU took this time to read about all the places to use the washroom in Burlington and I believe, you believe, you are having a good time.

McDonald's - Williston Rd
 Rating: 9.5/10

I know what you dedicated readers are already thinking? Didn't this Anthony Bourdain (RIP) of bathroom reviewers already cover McDonald's?

You are right, dear readers. But this gem in South Burlington - DOESN'T HAVE A DRIVE THRU, but the dining area is open 24/7.

I have never seen this before. Burger King and Starbucks public shares on NASDAQ would shudder at this business model.

 So, you know what that means.

You can walk in and out and use the restroom with no pressure 24/7. Though, here is automated ordering (standup computers so you can feel like your boss - who obviously wants to sit at work, but doesn't) and they bring good to your table and it is awkward AF, when you want to exercise your free will or volition - if you are into big condescending words (cough, cough) and pick up your own order, but is no hard rock, it's a gem.

Just like you reader.

Market 32 (Formerly Price Chopper)
Shelburne Road 

 Rating: 10/10

Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got
I'm still, I'm still Price Chopper from the block
Used to have a little, now I have a lot
No matter where I go, I know where I came  - Jennifer Lopez

When I first moved to Vermont, I didn't even know Price Chopper existed. Just like there are a billion people and that one person might be out there for you or that one Drake or Phish song is waiting for you - I think I found the one. Price Chopper. And boy, did you change. You can't just change your name from Price Chopper to Market 32 right when I met you.

You can't just change from K-Mart to Whole Foods and move on from basic onto someone who adds subsidence to your quality of life and potential to be a better human. Looking at you person who won't read this.

Just being salty - Kanye West.

Regardless of your emotionally capacity, this blogger feels Market 32 (Formerly Price Chopper) still deserves 10/10 on the 24/7 bathroom availability category in Burlington, Vermont.

Bonus: Free WiFi rating - bumps it up to a Windows 10.1/10.

If you haven't heard enough about unlimited data in Vermont..

And if you haven't heard enough about Space Force...

No comments:

Post a Comment

I need to recall in Albuquerque

Dear Reader,  After a long period of existential crisis of if this should have a  .com or be an economical, it was serendi...